
λ-calculus
Documenting my journey to the sewer
- Oct 24, 2023
- 1,398
Whenever the conversation of alphas and beta comes up the usual response by people who are more into the left wing and woke community is to completely disregard everything by saying: "the wolf study where those ideas originated was debunked by the same guy who did the study, it's all bullshit", but I disagree. Care needs to be put into defining what exactly is an alpha male and a beta male and once you do that it becomes clear that quite a few people fall into one or the other category.
I think the definition for alpha male should be something along the lines of: Someone with low empathy, low sense of embarrassment or cringing, not afraid of telling the world his opinion, wants and desires and will often guilt trip others into obeying his will, shamelessly. A beta would be the total opposite, someone with high empathy who feels too much for others and as a results gets constantly embarrassed, and because of this embarrassment they are too afraid to say no to other or to let others know what they truly think or want.
Growing up I was essentially this very definition of beta male. I recently found out that studies have shown that cringing way too much is correlated to high empathy. I never knew that before, but I guess having high empathy is the reason why I could never say no to others, I always went along with what others wanted, and I never made my ideas and desires known, let alone fight for them. And of course, this high empathy is also the reason why I often can't finish Youtube videos or even reading novels, because the conversations make me cringe way more than a normal person.
My ex-middle school principal was essentially an alpha female, by the definition I've given. She would always twist things in her favor no matter how unfair or how selfish it was, and she would usually get away with it. If she said something, very few people would dare go against it. Despite me being a total beta, I once managed to stand against her when she invited me to go to Christian camp and I said no. It was probably the toughest conversation I've ever had, she employed every single guilt trip tactic to get me to go to that camp, but I stood my ground and said no, eventually she gave up. That was arguably the first time I stood up for myself.
Over the year I have become less and less beta and I no longer get manipulated as often. But still, my inherently empathetic and beta nature is there and I have to find a way to completely get rid of it. I don't want to become an alpha either, but somewhere in the middle would be healthier for me.
I think the definition for alpha male should be something along the lines of: Someone with low empathy, low sense of embarrassment or cringing, not afraid of telling the world his opinion, wants and desires and will often guilt trip others into obeying his will, shamelessly. A beta would be the total opposite, someone with high empathy who feels too much for others and as a results gets constantly embarrassed, and because of this embarrassment they are too afraid to say no to other or to let others know what they truly think or want.
Growing up I was essentially this very definition of beta male. I recently found out that studies have shown that cringing way too much is correlated to high empathy. I never knew that before, but I guess having high empathy is the reason why I could never say no to others, I always went along with what others wanted, and I never made my ideas and desires known, let alone fight for them. And of course, this high empathy is also the reason why I often can't finish Youtube videos or even reading novels, because the conversations make me cringe way more than a normal person.
My ex-middle school principal was essentially an alpha female, by the definition I've given. She would always twist things in her favor no matter how unfair or how selfish it was, and she would usually get away with it. If she said something, very few people would dare go against it. Despite me being a total beta, I once managed to stand against her when she invited me to go to Christian camp and I said no. It was probably the toughest conversation I've ever had, she employed every single guilt trip tactic to get me to go to that camp, but I stood my ground and said no, eventually she gave up. That was arguably the first time I stood up for myself.
Over the year I have become less and less beta and I no longer get manipulated as often. But still, my inherently empathetic and beta nature is there and I have to find a way to completely get rid of it. I don't want to become an alpha either, but somewhere in the middle would be healthier for me.