Do you ever feel like death is the only thing that will fill your void? But not in a sad way, more like in a "chasing the dragon" kind of way.

  • Thread starter anon1822thirdaccoun
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anon1822thirdaccoun

anon1822thirdaccoun

NEET
Nov 12, 2022
137
Nothing seems to fill the void, to scratch the itch. I'm in a permanent state of being unfulfilled and chasing the dragon. Chasing a big hit of dopamine and fulfillment that never seems to come, that I don't know how to get.

And it feels like death is the only thing that will deliver the answer. Sure, it's a 99.99999....% chance that after death there's just nothing. But my mind can't stop thinking about that off-chance. It's like, I need such a big dopamine hit, such a big revelation, such a big twist that is so fantastic and fulfilling, that only something akin to heaven or an amazing afterlife where all your dreams come true is enough to fill the void.

In other words, nothing in life will satisfy me. I want to die and end up in a dimension where magic exists, I'm the chosen one, the dimension is tailor-made for me and all my wildest dreams come true, and it's a never-ending dreamlike utopia where I'm a billionaire magician immortal son of God who is loved and spoiled by the universe itself.
 
Officer KD6-3.7

Officer KD6-3.7

Joe • Retired Blade Runner • NEET • KHHV
Nov 28, 2020
1,083
People are always in a constant state of occupying one useless activity to another, tacking off time, and distracting themself from the reality of life's conveyer belt. It's funny to think that people believe the worst fate is death, when, really, it's the thought that's worst than the actual outcome. Death itself is neither bad nor good but if you live in this reality, in our position, then it's clear what's worst than death.
Thinking that death itself, afterlife or not, is somehow worse is just objectively not true.
I too find myself engaging in all forms of mental escapism but even then I never engage in something so unbelievably unrealistic as an afterlife. It doesn't even register as remotely probable for it to be enticing in any way. Technological afterlife, however...
 
SoupaSilva

SoupaSilva

obies grainy sourcer
Oct 6, 2021
2,842
No. I've not tried enough things yet. I have no life experience, maybe if I actually go out and try some stuff it will fill the void at least for a time.
 
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