anon1822thirdaccoun
NEET
- Nov 12, 2022
- 136
Nothing seems to fill the void, to scratch the itch. I'm in a permanent state of being unfulfilled and chasing the dragon. Chasing a big hit of dopamine and fulfillment that never seems to come, that I don't know how to get.
And it feels like death is the only thing that will deliver the answer. Sure, it's a 99.99999....% chance that after death there's just nothing. But my mind can't stop thinking about that off-chance. It's like, I need such a big dopamine hit, such a big revelation, such a big twist that is so fantastic and fulfilling, that only something akin to heaven or an amazing afterlife where all your dreams come true is enough to fill the void.
In other words, nothing in life will satisfy me. I want to die and end up in a dimension where magic exists, I'm the chosen one, the dimension is tailor-made for me and all my wildest dreams come true, and it's a never-ending dreamlike utopia where I'm a billionaire magician immortal son of God who is loved and spoiled by the universe itself.
And it feels like death is the only thing that will deliver the answer. Sure, it's a 99.99999....% chance that after death there's just nothing. But my mind can't stop thinking about that off-chance. It's like, I need such a big dopamine hit, such a big revelation, such a big twist that is so fantastic and fulfilling, that only something akin to heaven or an amazing afterlife where all your dreams come true is enough to fill the void.
In other words, nothing in life will satisfy me. I want to die and end up in a dimension where magic exists, I'm the chosen one, the dimension is tailor-made for me and all my wildest dreams come true, and it's a never-ending dreamlike utopia where I'm a billionaire magician immortal son of God who is loved and spoiled by the universe itself.