Truckzo
The Uber Instincts Of My Uber Autism Are Crazy!!!
- May 29, 2022
- 681
After my nutmeg trip, which I think was sort of enlightening in a way but underwhelming, the past few days have just been repetitive and overall boring and I realized Ive been content with it all, I live in a moldy filthy room, like there's mold all over my walls dead ass, room always dirty and shit and I realized that I've been content with it all, which is a problem but not a problem. And I realized that there is beauty in the void you know? like when I was on the nutmeg my brain was just foggy as fuck and I felt like I was kind of in a vegetative state, not really thinking of much, shit i could just let my brain go and just stare at the wall.
And about the goldfish shit, when I was on the nutmeg I remember looking at my fish tank, and I was like "yo me and this fish are the same nigga" I live in an enclosed space that kinda feels like a prison, the highlights of my day are usually meal time and sleeping. And there's some kind of bittersweet feeling to that revelation. And I don't know if my trip just caused me to be a little more aware of things going on in my head, I know every day for me is sometimes a blur because I don't do shit and maybe until now I just never thought of it, and its actually peculiar to me that I'm a little more aware of it. I'm aware of the fact that in my day to day life I don't have much thought, at least not any thoughts worth holding on to and that I live like a fucking drone.
Although there is the alternate possibility that I have brain damage from abusing my inhaler and depriving my brain of oxygen for that good old 10-30 second buzz, or that I'm just going insane from boredom and lack of human interaction that's lasted more than 30 seconds.
And about the goldfish shit, when I was on the nutmeg I remember looking at my fish tank, and I was like "yo me and this fish are the same nigga" I live in an enclosed space that kinda feels like a prison, the highlights of my day are usually meal time and sleeping. And there's some kind of bittersweet feeling to that revelation. And I don't know if my trip just caused me to be a little more aware of things going on in my head, I know every day for me is sometimes a blur because I don't do shit and maybe until now I just never thought of it, and its actually peculiar to me that I'm a little more aware of it. I'm aware of the fact that in my day to day life I don't have much thought, at least not any thoughts worth holding on to and that I live like a fucking drone.
Although there is the alternate possibility that I have brain damage from abusing my inhaler and depriving my brain of oxygen for that good old 10-30 second buzz, or that I'm just going insane from boredom and lack of human interaction that's lasted more than 30 seconds.
