AntiLife
NEET
- Jul 19, 2023
- 207
I will never forget when my father almost beat me up because I didn't know how to find the radius of a circle was when I was in middle school.
My grandma legit had to hold him back because he grabbed onto my hair and banged it on the table, this changed me.
I cried for hours the night of that horrible day, and I reminded myself to never ask my father or anyone else for help ever again. And in all honesty, I never cared for academics. My parents were rarely home, and school was a hell hole for me due to extreme bullying. I had so much stuff on my mind, school wasn't something I prioritized.
My only cope was lucid daydreaming. So, during class I would dream about a life I never had (or will ever have).
It got so bad to the point where it was mentally hard for me to retain any useful information. The only thing I ever thought about was my lucid dream girlfriend and how super model Chad I looked in my dreams.
Now, I'm 17 years old. I have a tutor for each subject, and I live in a foreign shit hole. My tutors have accents so it's impossible to understand them most of the time, and what's worse is that they don't even hide their laughter. (when they see how awful I am at academically challenging capitalistic bullshit)
and yes, I blame capitalism for my problems.
I took western education for granted. At least I could cheat there, and it was easy to do things because the majority of my classmates are on my IQ level.
...
(One of my tutors), My math tutor came in and never came back. He taught me how to add and subtract basic fractions and after a week went by (he was supposed to come again later but never did) he told my caretaker that he's "busy with meetings" when it's literally summer break over here. He just doesn't want to deal with teaching me 5th grade level math. And I don't blame him.
...
And I could go on and on about how my father would either say things like "you know sometimes you make me want to strangle you in a bathtub", or how he would get so angry he would bang his arm hard against the wall every time I got a problem wrong during the time he would try and teach me things. But it's all pointless.
What matters now is that if I don't pass the entrance exam then I'm fucked for life. I'll be sent back to the west; I'll have to endure another year of bullying and just being secluded and ostracized by people at school. And on top of that I won't be free from my father, and then eventually he'll kick me out when I turn 18.
This is all so fucked up; I just want to rope already.
My grandma legit had to hold him back because he grabbed onto my hair and banged it on the table, this changed me.
I cried for hours the night of that horrible day, and I reminded myself to never ask my father or anyone else for help ever again. And in all honesty, I never cared for academics. My parents were rarely home, and school was a hell hole for me due to extreme bullying. I had so much stuff on my mind, school wasn't something I prioritized.
My only cope was lucid daydreaming. So, during class I would dream about a life I never had (or will ever have).
It got so bad to the point where it was mentally hard for me to retain any useful information. The only thing I ever thought about was my lucid dream girlfriend and how super model Chad I looked in my dreams.
Now, I'm 17 years old. I have a tutor for each subject, and I live in a foreign shit hole. My tutors have accents so it's impossible to understand them most of the time, and what's worse is that they don't even hide their laughter. (when they see how awful I am at academically challenging capitalistic bullshit)
and yes, I blame capitalism for my problems.
I took western education for granted. At least I could cheat there, and it was easy to do things because the majority of my classmates are on my IQ level.
...
(One of my tutors), My math tutor came in and never came back. He taught me how to add and subtract basic fractions and after a week went by (he was supposed to come again later but never did) he told my caretaker that he's "busy with meetings" when it's literally summer break over here. He just doesn't want to deal with teaching me 5th grade level math. And I don't blame him.
...
And I could go on and on about how my father would either say things like "you know sometimes you make me want to strangle you in a bathtub", or how he would get so angry he would bang his arm hard against the wall every time I got a problem wrong during the time he would try and teach me things. But it's all pointless.
What matters now is that if I don't pass the entrance exam then I'm fucked for life. I'll be sent back to the west; I'll have to endure another year of bullying and just being secluded and ostracized by people at school. And on top of that I won't be free from my father, and then eventually he'll kick me out when I turn 18.
This is all so fucked up; I just want to rope already.