I'm so depressed now nothing really works anymore

usercorn

usercorn

Mittens the revival
Apr 1, 2024
770
Even having a couple beers doesn't do much. I take kratom pretty much everyday even though I've told myself to take at least a day off every week. Today I only took 7 grams, but it's usually upwards of 25.

Ever since I deleted my looksmax account it's all been downhill from there. The one help I got socially from the government ran out so I don't meet any people.

My life is so shit. The only thing I low-key look forward to is getting my zopiclone on the 25th which I will shove up my ass which Jim Beam whiskey. Then I'll feel joy for about a week, after which it's back to having nothing that brings me happiness.

I just wish that war breaks out between Israel and Iran so that I'll have something to laugh about. I'm very disturbed and the social isolation hasn't helped.

Some people were very bad to me and it crushed my faith in humanity. There's a guy on looksmax who's about to go ER, but I can't do that because I don't have a gun. He says he's gonna do it in the next 5 minutes so we'll see what happens.

Do you also have morbid interests like these or am I crazy for thinking this way? Leave your thoughts and tell me if I've got it all backwards...
 
Lain

Lain

NEET
Jul 19, 2021
3,781
I believe we talked about it before but I could be misremembering, did you ever try DXM? 150mg of that should give a pronounced antidepressant effect that'll last around a week, just make sure it's only DXM and also don't take it if you're on SSRIs or mixing it with other substances. In that week time frame, exercising and eating some protein rich food should help you minmax happy chemicals. Like ribeye steaks. I've done such strategies before myself and it's helped.

I wouldn't laugh but there is an intense thrill there with wars, with massive conflicts, ever since the peak of the Syrian civil war, I'll routinely go and look up combat footage of whatever war is ongoing. I think a part of me would be happy if Israel got nuked and another part of me that'd think it'd be fucked up. It's a complex feeling. Sometimes I'll espouse hate but I don't think I could ever go out of my way to hurt someone, unless I really had to in a life or death situation.

I think something that'll help you regain some faith in humanity is looking at all the near miraculous discoveries and inventions that improve the lives of countless people. That's what helps me, even in the case of war, isn't it an absurd feat that people can accelerate missiles 10x the speed of sound? It's both terrible but awe inspiring in a way.
 
usercorn

usercorn

Mittens the revival
Apr 1, 2024
770
I believe we talked about it before but I could be misremembering, did you ever try DXM? 150mg of that should give a pronounced antidepressant effect that'll last around a week, just make sure it's only DXM and also don't take it if you're on SSRIs or mixing it with other substances. In that week time frame, exercising and eating some protein rich food should help you minmax happy chemicals. Like ribeye steaks. I've done such strategies before myself and it's helped.

I wouldn't laugh but there is an intense thrill there with wars, with massive conflicts, ever since the peak of the Syrian civil war, I'll routinely go and look up combat footage of whatever war is ongoing. I think a part of me would be happy if Israel got nuked and another part of me that'd think it'd be fucked up. It's a complex feeling. Sometimes I'll espouse hate but I don't think I could ever go out of my way to hurt someone, unless I really had to in a life or death situation.

I think something that'll help you regain some faith in humanity is looking at all the near miraculous discoveries and inventions that improve the lives of countless people. That's what helps me, even in the case of war, isn't it an absurd feat that people can accelerate missiles 10x the speed of sound? It's both terrible but awe inspiring in a way.
I would like to try DXM but I don't know where to get it. All the drugs are criminalized here in Sweden so I'd have to have an internet vendor.

I used to eat very healthy but I've given up on that too pretty much although I don't eat fast-food. I do snack and eat sweets and stuff but at least I don't seem to be gaining weight.

The world is so effed up I can't even take interest or be inspired the way I used to mayne. It's so hard I think I might go ER someday. I even stabbed a guy once because I just couldn't handle it. I'm really a mess bro, they tortured me after I tried to buy drugs from the streets so I can't even do that anymore.

If I had something like DXM or ketamine that might level me out. Would need to find a shop though.

Thanks for advising me, I really appreciate that.
 
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usercorn

usercorn

Mittens the revival
Apr 1, 2024
770
The guy from looksmax got banned. I think he might've done it.
 
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