bigantennaemay1
Aspie social drifter without purpose or home
- Sep 17, 2023
- 36
--The Premise--
And I'm sure a fair few of us have heard the old adage of "when life gives you lemons, just make lemonade!" Or, "if life gave you lemons, plant their seeds, grow a lemon tree, and start a business." I've often stated that life is like a poker game, but I was dealt a hand of shit, only to have some smartass remind me that "shit can be used to make manure, you know. And with manure, you could start your own business, or make your own farm."
--The Metaphor--
Alright, well just to make things clear, "Life is like a poker game, and I wasn't dealt a hand of cards: I was dealt a button that fell off a shirt, a paper clip, and a small clump of pocket lint." And before any wise ass can make any comments about starting a business, or trading these items up (I'll cover that in a moment), these are not objects that have value to anyone, within the game or without it. Within the poker game, people are only interested in the card game; without, they are interested in what brings immediate value to them. This is a metaphor, after all, and not the case of some of those viral people who started trading useless shit and eventually trading their way up to home ownership. Anyone with half a brain knows that stuff isn't real, anyway, and that the start was rigged, or the end was rigged, or the whole thing was faked, or they had help, or a head start (think along the lines of Trump's famous "small loan of a million dollars" line, which anyone with a functioning brain will point out: not everyone has access to an initial loan of a million dollars, ergo, not everyone can have the same opportunities Trump had).
--The Rules--
Sticking to the metaphor detailed in the above paragraph, we can take this further, of course. Some people are dealt an instruction card, too (this being the metaphor for having proper parents, and proper parenting, where they both have an active role in your life, and prepare you for it; it can also mean for those born into great wealth); and some people are not. This instruction card shows the values of different hands, and the conditions to be met to have such a hand. For example, that a Royal Flush is the highest value hand, and it can only be made by having cards ranging from 10-K, as well as the Ace, all of the same suit. Whether or not you were dealt an instruction card on how to play the game, and how to use the cards you were dealt to try to get a better deal, I think we can all agree that this instruction card does not come with instructions on what to do if you are not dealt a hand of cards, but are instead, dealt random, useless junk, such as a button, a paperclip, and pocket lint. This is the equivalent to what I was dealt when I was born: a button, a paper clip, and a clump of pocket lint, and no instruction card.
--The Circumstances--
Now, granted, I tried to sneak a peek at the instruction cards held by the people who were dealt such things; but those are closely guarded cards, as without them, a player is at a clear disadvantage, because they may not know exactly how the game is played. I wanted to know if I could somehow make something of the random litter I was dealt. I did what I could with what I was dealt. I tried to hide my "hand of cards" from the other players; I tried to bluff my position; I tried to make trades, and argue for receiving even one card from someone, maybe a card they weren't using. After all, I reasoned, if they're going for a four-of-a-kind, it's not like they need the fifth card, anyway (other than to break a tie with other four-of-a-kind players, but obviously, I'm doing what I can to win; this detail was too inconvenient to mention). I tried my best, given the unfavorable circumstances of my "hand" (of my birth), to make the very best of it that I could. Did I eventually fold, and just walk away from the table, with nothing to show, nothing to trade, nothing of any real value? Yes, but only after spending 27 years of my life trying my best with the resources available to me. I think 27 years is more than fair, in terms of the amount of time spent trying to make something of a wad of pocket lint, in a proper poker game. But bad actors will gaslight me, and anyone who has had similar experiences, into believing that we're "lazy," that we just "don't want to try," that we're "too quick to give up." These are lies, meant to shame us for our circumstances, and meant to distract us from the fact that we were dealt an unbelievably unfair hand, all while those who say things like this are currently holding 3-card "straights," and working on getting the fourth and fifth to level up their hand and get a proper straight.
--The Envy--
And, of course, who could be dealt a "hand" in such a manner, and not feel in the slightest bit envious of those around you, who were dealt better hands? Who were dealt actual hands of cards, and had "skin in the game," so to speak? Now, sure, I might look at Chad's hand of a Royal Flush, or Chadlite's straight flush, or even Brad's full house, and desire it for myself, and even daydream about having such a hand of cards. It's all well and good, as long as the daydreams are recognized within a realistic context, that the odds of having such hands is minimal. We all want the best: we're human. But even for all the normies, who might be holding two pair, or King high, I envied them, as at least even they had cards, and had skin in the game. I've always envied all of them, and gotten angry when I'd see another player just throw their hand away, and refuse to even try to improve upon it, or play the game to increase their value. Even more so when they were complaining, or coming over to me to gaslight me for trying with what I was given. They had opportunities, and didn't even bother to try and utilize their hands to get better cards. I've always been bitterly envious of other people. If I had been dealt actual cards, the way they had, I wouldn't be lazy with them, I'd be trying to capitalize. They received a great gift, which was a proper hand which they can actually play the game with, and they treat it frivolously, and take it for granted.
--The Audacity--
Why should I not be envious and angry towards other people, given the circumstances of my life, compared to theirs? They got to play the game! We were all "invited" to this poker game against our will, without our consent, and they all get dealt proper cards; meanwhile, someone pulled the old junk they had floating around in their work jean's pockets, placed it into my hands, and said "there you go, now you can play, too." As if that puts me on equal footing with everyone else! That's absurd! And they'll then tell me that it's my "attitude," or my "personality," that gets in my way, and prevents me from finding success, completely ignoring the blatantly obvious fact that I was not even given a single card to play the game with, a game I had no choice but to participate in! My "attitude" and "personality," my anger and my envy, did not contribute to the hand I was dealt. To believe so, is to put the cart before the horse. I am angry precisely because I was dealt a shitty hand, I was dealt a button, a paper clip, and a fuzz of pocket lint, while everyone else was dealt actual cards to play the game with, and some were even given instruction cards, to boot! My "hand" is the cause, and my anger is the effect, and there is no clearer line of causality in this world!
--The Conclusion--
Life is a game of poker, and I was dealt a "hand of cards" that consists of no cards. Now you see yet another facet into why I've turned out the way I have, why I think the way I do, and why I do not embrace optimism, and a positive outlook on life. How can it be that I can be dealt such an unfavorable start, tried my best to capitalize with what little I had, fail utterly in turning this misfortune around, and not come out of it with a rotten attitude? I am a realist: I see things the way they are, and I present things in the clearest possible metaphors I am capable of describing. I do not subscribe to optimism nor pessimism, as neither are rooted in reality. I see things for how they really are, and I spit on the dealer, for not giving me cards in this compulsory game, I spit on the other players, for being rude to me, for gaslighting me, for refusing to even acknowledge my own disadvantages, and I throw my loose pocket litter in the trash can as I resign myself to a corner of the game room, with my bottle of booze, because I've finally come to the sobering (ironically) realization: the game was rigged from the start.
And I'm sure a fair few of us have heard the old adage of "when life gives you lemons, just make lemonade!" Or, "if life gave you lemons, plant their seeds, grow a lemon tree, and start a business." I've often stated that life is like a poker game, but I was dealt a hand of shit, only to have some smartass remind me that "shit can be used to make manure, you know. And with manure, you could start your own business, or make your own farm."
--The Metaphor--
Alright, well just to make things clear, "Life is like a poker game, and I wasn't dealt a hand of cards: I was dealt a button that fell off a shirt, a paper clip, and a small clump of pocket lint." And before any wise ass can make any comments about starting a business, or trading these items up (I'll cover that in a moment), these are not objects that have value to anyone, within the game or without it. Within the poker game, people are only interested in the card game; without, they are interested in what brings immediate value to them. This is a metaphor, after all, and not the case of some of those viral people who started trading useless shit and eventually trading their way up to home ownership. Anyone with half a brain knows that stuff isn't real, anyway, and that the start was rigged, or the end was rigged, or the whole thing was faked, or they had help, or a head start (think along the lines of Trump's famous "small loan of a million dollars" line, which anyone with a functioning brain will point out: not everyone has access to an initial loan of a million dollars, ergo, not everyone can have the same opportunities Trump had).
--The Rules--
Sticking to the metaphor detailed in the above paragraph, we can take this further, of course. Some people are dealt an instruction card, too (this being the metaphor for having proper parents, and proper parenting, where they both have an active role in your life, and prepare you for it; it can also mean for those born into great wealth); and some people are not. This instruction card shows the values of different hands, and the conditions to be met to have such a hand. For example, that a Royal Flush is the highest value hand, and it can only be made by having cards ranging from 10-K, as well as the Ace, all of the same suit. Whether or not you were dealt an instruction card on how to play the game, and how to use the cards you were dealt to try to get a better deal, I think we can all agree that this instruction card does not come with instructions on what to do if you are not dealt a hand of cards, but are instead, dealt random, useless junk, such as a button, a paperclip, and pocket lint. This is the equivalent to what I was dealt when I was born: a button, a paper clip, and a clump of pocket lint, and no instruction card.
--The Circumstances--
Now, granted, I tried to sneak a peek at the instruction cards held by the people who were dealt such things; but those are closely guarded cards, as without them, a player is at a clear disadvantage, because they may not know exactly how the game is played. I wanted to know if I could somehow make something of the random litter I was dealt. I did what I could with what I was dealt. I tried to hide my "hand of cards" from the other players; I tried to bluff my position; I tried to make trades, and argue for receiving even one card from someone, maybe a card they weren't using. After all, I reasoned, if they're going for a four-of-a-kind, it's not like they need the fifth card, anyway (other than to break a tie with other four-of-a-kind players, but obviously, I'm doing what I can to win; this detail was too inconvenient to mention). I tried my best, given the unfavorable circumstances of my "hand" (of my birth), to make the very best of it that I could. Did I eventually fold, and just walk away from the table, with nothing to show, nothing to trade, nothing of any real value? Yes, but only after spending 27 years of my life trying my best with the resources available to me. I think 27 years is more than fair, in terms of the amount of time spent trying to make something of a wad of pocket lint, in a proper poker game. But bad actors will gaslight me, and anyone who has had similar experiences, into believing that we're "lazy," that we just "don't want to try," that we're "too quick to give up." These are lies, meant to shame us for our circumstances, and meant to distract us from the fact that we were dealt an unbelievably unfair hand, all while those who say things like this are currently holding 3-card "straights," and working on getting the fourth and fifth to level up their hand and get a proper straight.
--The Envy--
And, of course, who could be dealt a "hand" in such a manner, and not feel in the slightest bit envious of those around you, who were dealt better hands? Who were dealt actual hands of cards, and had "skin in the game," so to speak? Now, sure, I might look at Chad's hand of a Royal Flush, or Chadlite's straight flush, or even Brad's full house, and desire it for myself, and even daydream about having such a hand of cards. It's all well and good, as long as the daydreams are recognized within a realistic context, that the odds of having such hands is minimal. We all want the best: we're human. But even for all the normies, who might be holding two pair, or King high, I envied them, as at least even they had cards, and had skin in the game. I've always envied all of them, and gotten angry when I'd see another player just throw their hand away, and refuse to even try to improve upon it, or play the game to increase their value. Even more so when they were complaining, or coming over to me to gaslight me for trying with what I was given. They had opportunities, and didn't even bother to try and utilize their hands to get better cards. I've always been bitterly envious of other people. If I had been dealt actual cards, the way they had, I wouldn't be lazy with them, I'd be trying to capitalize. They received a great gift, which was a proper hand which they can actually play the game with, and they treat it frivolously, and take it for granted.
--The Audacity--
Why should I not be envious and angry towards other people, given the circumstances of my life, compared to theirs? They got to play the game! We were all "invited" to this poker game against our will, without our consent, and they all get dealt proper cards; meanwhile, someone pulled the old junk they had floating around in their work jean's pockets, placed it into my hands, and said "there you go, now you can play, too." As if that puts me on equal footing with everyone else! That's absurd! And they'll then tell me that it's my "attitude," or my "personality," that gets in my way, and prevents me from finding success, completely ignoring the blatantly obvious fact that I was not even given a single card to play the game with, a game I had no choice but to participate in! My "attitude" and "personality," my anger and my envy, did not contribute to the hand I was dealt. To believe so, is to put the cart before the horse. I am angry precisely because I was dealt a shitty hand, I was dealt a button, a paper clip, and a fuzz of pocket lint, while everyone else was dealt actual cards to play the game with, and some were even given instruction cards, to boot! My "hand" is the cause, and my anger is the effect, and there is no clearer line of causality in this world!
--The Conclusion--
Life is a game of poker, and I was dealt a "hand of cards" that consists of no cards. Now you see yet another facet into why I've turned out the way I have, why I think the way I do, and why I do not embrace optimism, and a positive outlook on life. How can it be that I can be dealt such an unfavorable start, tried my best to capitalize with what little I had, fail utterly in turning this misfortune around, and not come out of it with a rotten attitude? I am a realist: I see things the way they are, and I present things in the clearest possible metaphors I am capable of describing. I do not subscribe to optimism nor pessimism, as neither are rooted in reality. I see things for how they really are, and I spit on the dealer, for not giving me cards in this compulsory game, I spit on the other players, for being rude to me, for gaslighting me, for refusing to even acknowledge my own disadvantages, and I throw my loose pocket litter in the trash can as I resign myself to a corner of the game room, with my bottle of booze, because I've finally come to the sobering (ironically) realization: the game was rigged from the start.
