
Camarhynchus
Hope, Cope or Rope
- Dec 7, 2020
- 154
We have a happy marriage and my husband is a very good man to me and my daughters. Lately my husband has been complaining about our sex life and we have been having many arguments over it. He claims that after our 1st daughter’s birth, our sex life is nonexistent, I don’t see this as a problem and I am not interested in hearing him about this. I don't like to have sex, in fact I dread having sex with him. He claims that this is how he feels loved and appreciated by me. After hearing this, I flipped out at him and told him to leave. I also gave him a lecture about there are more important things to a marriage than sex. Then suddenly, he questioned me if I just married him for money and children? That also led to another serious argument.
This all happened 2 weeks ago and since then, he has become so cold and distant with me. He pays attention to our daughters but completely ignores me if something important needs to be discussed.
Last tuesday, it was my birthday and he packed his bags and left monday evening, came home wednesday evening. He didn’t acknowledge my birthday, didn’t get me a present, nothing. I mentioned that he forgot about my birthday and all he said was, so? I also told him that I had to do the cooking for my daughters and how he abandoned us all. All he tells me, I am a grown woman so I can take care of the house if for one day he’s not here. I was so angry, I didn’t even talk to him. Now a days he comes home so late and leaves for work, most of the weekends he is not even there at home but gone outside.
My friend [29F] spotted him at the library and he has been spending his past few weeks reading, studying something at the library. I suspect to be his IT certification exam because he has been talking about this for several years. My friend further went to investigate what he’s been up to and all she discovered that he’s been reading a lot about divorce. I checked his computer history, phone, everything so he’s not cheating with another woman but his computer history has been filled with information on divorce. I also saw information about finding a new roommate, which was something new. He has been on the phone a lot (late evenings when he’s at home), and he talks to his parents, family in his language (which I can’t understand).
I am not sure what to make of this anymore, is my marriage truly over? How can I convince him to stay for the sake of our daughters when he doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. What can I do?
Other details: we got married when he was 25 and I was 23, we have 2 daughters. I also work 40 hours a week and so does he, he does most of the chores, cooking, cleaning and helping girls with the homework, while I have more time for myself. He is very physically active and I am so and so.
tl;dr: Husband complains about lack of sex, I am not interested. This is creating a lot of strain in our relationship. He thinks I married him for money and children but thats not true. Now he ignores me and spends most of his days in the library, on ocmputer, with family talking about divorce. What to do?
This all happened 2 weeks ago and since then, he has become so cold and distant with me. He pays attention to our daughters but completely ignores me if something important needs to be discussed.
Last tuesday, it was my birthday and he packed his bags and left monday evening, came home wednesday evening. He didn’t acknowledge my birthday, didn’t get me a present, nothing. I mentioned that he forgot about my birthday and all he said was, so? I also told him that I had to do the cooking for my daughters and how he abandoned us all. All he tells me, I am a grown woman so I can take care of the house if for one day he’s not here. I was so angry, I didn’t even talk to him. Now a days he comes home so late and leaves for work, most of the weekends he is not even there at home but gone outside.
My friend [29F] spotted him at the library and he has been spending his past few weeks reading, studying something at the library. I suspect to be his IT certification exam because he has been talking about this for several years. My friend further went to investigate what he’s been up to and all she discovered that he’s been reading a lot about divorce. I checked his computer history, phone, everything so he’s not cheating with another woman but his computer history has been filled with information on divorce. I also saw information about finding a new roommate, which was something new. He has been on the phone a lot (late evenings when he’s at home), and he talks to his parents, family in his language (which I can’t understand).
I am not sure what to make of this anymore, is my marriage truly over? How can I convince him to stay for the sake of our daughters when he doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. What can I do?
Other details: we got married when he was 25 and I was 23, we have 2 daughters. I also work 40 hours a week and so does he, he does most of the chores, cooking, cleaning and helping girls with the homework, while I have more time for myself. He is very physically active and I am so and so.
tl;dr: Husband complains about lack of sex, I am not interested. This is creating a lot of strain in our relationship. He thinks I married him for money and children but thats not true. Now he ignores me and spends most of his days in the library, on ocmputer, with family talking about divorce. What to do?