
Alexander
Wagie
- Nov 26, 2020
- 662
It's been quite a year with losing my mother, family dog and still finding myself as an outcast. The trend ir everything getting worse with each passing year continues, I struggle to see how it can be topped next year, but i'm sure God has a plan for that too.
Over a year ago, I've been trying to integrate into society as I left NEETdom for University, Work(Call center) and Gym. Not a single true friend from University, friendly acquaintances at best and just got rejected by a girl with whom i've been talking for a week, I did not even formally ask her out, but she was of course seeing signs due to my interest in her and decides to shut that door down to make it clear that she's not interested in a relationship with me.
As for the gym, There's been some progress, muscle definition obviously and compliments, But I have not reaches a desirable goal, It's been rather lackluster. The diet to gain proper muscle mass is quite expensive to me and due to work, I wouldn't even have the time to cook the food and i'm not sleeping well either due to commuting, both of which severely handicap my progress as well as my bitch of a frame, as I needed to have an small frame too and witness teenagers with 3 months at the gym mogging me hard. By the way, witnessing the teens hanging around the place only makes me wish i could turn back time, so full of life.
Work is draining me hard, the place is filled with people my age, but there's a clear disconnect between me and them, It's like I haven't been actualized, I always joke i'm in a different year. I did make one meaningful friend and some acquaintances thanks to him, that's all the positive. I'll see if i can update my style for hopefully a better 2025, as there's no other option. When i take a look into my realistic future... I feel suffocated.
The family home is breaking down too, roof has deteriorated far too much, every storm or big rain leaves the house full of water and it's getting into the breakers, Electrician said there could be a fire at any moment, yet I still live here lol, but even that i will need to leave soon, my own home.
Over a year ago, I've been trying to integrate into society as I left NEETdom for University, Work(Call center) and Gym. Not a single true friend from University, friendly acquaintances at best and just got rejected by a girl with whom i've been talking for a week, I did not even formally ask her out, but she was of course seeing signs due to my interest in her and decides to shut that door down to make it clear that she's not interested in a relationship with me.
As for the gym, There's been some progress, muscle definition obviously and compliments, But I have not reaches a desirable goal, It's been rather lackluster. The diet to gain proper muscle mass is quite expensive to me and due to work, I wouldn't even have the time to cook the food and i'm not sleeping well either due to commuting, both of which severely handicap my progress as well as my bitch of a frame, as I needed to have an small frame too and witness teenagers with 3 months at the gym mogging me hard. By the way, witnessing the teens hanging around the place only makes me wish i could turn back time, so full of life.
Work is draining me hard, the place is filled with people my age, but there's a clear disconnect between me and them, It's like I haven't been actualized, I always joke i'm in a different year. I did make one meaningful friend and some acquaintances thanks to him, that's all the positive. I'll see if i can update my style for hopefully a better 2025, as there's no other option. When i take a look into my realistic future... I feel suffocated.
The family home is breaking down too, roof has deteriorated far too much, every storm or big rain leaves the house full of water and it's getting into the breakers, Electrician said there could be a fire at any moment, yet I still live here lol, but even that i will need to leave soon, my own home.