Story Testing the limits of my intelligence with ADHD meds

[クーロ]

Let's see if I'm one of those "smart but lazy" faggots who was crippled by ADHD or if I'm actually just an idiot. Posting these as a reminder. I'm going to follow a tutorial on making an NES emulator (just took a Concerta pill) that's missing some sound and display glitches I intend to fix after. If I can't make a functioning NES emulator by myself at the end I will determine that I am simply retarded and use the pills to just play games

Doing this so I can get a better understanding of reverse engineering and Assembly programming to go on my dream project of translating PS1/PS2/PSP games I played as a kid into Arabic and dump them into discs that I will use on my old busted PS2 as a roundabout way of practicing my language to pushback against how learning English from playing Kingdom Hearts as a kid has ruined my life (and vocabulary)

 

[クーロ]

Imagine how embarrassing it will be if I say all this shit then do nothing

 

[fries]

The whole point of this clausal game is to deny reality, winning or losing it will change absolutely nothing because you enable yourself plenty of leeway for interpretation of any outcome. It’s meant to appease the voice that says that you’re dumb and that everything sucks to everything that you do or don’t do. You’ll feel shit regardless, it’s not a real framework for productive activity, you’re just beating yourself in a way that’s absurd enough to never rock the boat.

 

[クーロ]

The whole point of this clausal game is to deny reality, winning or losing it will change absolutely nothing because you enable yourself plenty of leeway for interpretation of any outcome. It’s meant to appease the voice that says that you’re dumb and that everything sucks to everything that you do or don’t do. You’ll feel shit regardless, it’s not a real framework for productive activity, you’re just beating yourself in a way that’s absurd enough to never rock the boat.

I am well aware of this but at this point I am no longer concerned about the absurdity of it. Rather than being more "productive" I want to develop a skill that forces me into being more familiar with delayed gratification rather than silly shit that activates my monkey brain so I can put more time into things without constantly worrying about how useful or not useful it is. I'll still feel like shit but at least I'll be less insecure overall

 

[rekamaður]

Ritalin made me perform worse at school for some reason, unironically. Not sure why.

The best was the initial burst that sort of cleared my perpetual tiredness and made me actually willing to work, after that it just turned me into a schizo. Made me more emotional though so life was more interesting.

 

[The Doctor]

memantine and semax might be legit for iq max

 

[クーロ]

The best was the initial burst that sort of cleared my perpetual tiredness and made me actually willing to work, after that it just turned me into a schizo. Made me more emotional though so life was more interesting.

I'm already having this on Day 2 lol. It wasn't as effective as yesterday but I still feel motivated generally. I had the opposite regarding emotion though I seriously feel nothing. I've always been anhedonic but at least had some bursts of anger here and there but now it just doesn't cross my mind

 

[rekamaður]

I'm already having this on Day 2 lol. It wasn't as effective as yesterday but I still feel motivated generally. I had the opposite regarding emotion though I seriously feel nothing. I've always been anhedonic but at least had some bursts of anger here and there but now it just doesn't cross my mind

It made me less emotional initially and sort of had this permanent buzzed up hyperfocused mode, which was good, also ironically made me a lot more expressive and NT in conversation, low inhib
but a few days/weeks in it started to set in. I'd get extremely angry over minor stuff.

 

[クーロ]

It made me less emotional initially and sort of had this permanent buzzed up hyperfocused mode, which was good, also ironically made me a lot more expressive and NT in conversation, low inhib
but a few days/weeks in it started to set in. I'd get extremely angry over minor stuff.

Yeah psych told me about these side effects so I'll use the pills in moderation. I plan to only take them when I have something to do that requires full attention like this project or anything related to school when I attend it. I used it for Mabinogi yesterday as a sort of test run lel but it differs per person. Someone who has a multitude of problems outside of ADHD will probably not have as much of a benefit or even make it worse. Overusing any drug will lead to bad stuff

 

[クーロ]

Damn nvm this emulator got hands I'm already scratching my head at writing the 6502 implementation

 

[クーロ]

Got filtered
Gonna kms

 

[Eren]

more than ~70 mg will kill a few neurons just fyi

 

[クーロ]

more than ~70 mg will kill a few neurons just fyi

I'm taking one 18mg pill a day