Venting The fact that I have 0 friends (very long post)

FeetAreSexyUh

FeetAreSexyUh

Foot Enthusiast
Aug 20, 2023
313
Okay I'll try to not make this long it'll be a bit personal

I literally have 0 friends, I never fit in at school, when kids would play something like football or basketball or anything together I'd always be on the side, not interacting with anyone. I was quiet all the time, teachers praised me for it because it is what they want anyway but everybody avoided me. I spoke to no one, I came home and immediately open up my laptop hop on Minecraft or Roblox or watch YouTube or on discord, that's all I've ever had. I'd like to cope and say I've had a girlfriend but it was on Roblox so you can imagine how stupid that even sounds.

And throughout the summer break, I literally never went outside. I would spend my entire day and night (sleep deprived) playing video games or go on discord for communication on random servers and I'd get muted because of how much of a social outcast I am and how little I know about socialising, so I would literally yell slurs and stuff to get attention because I never got any attention.

Then I got into college eventually and I tried to change. I tried to jestermaxx. But eventually I dropped the act because it never worked, people can sense through it, they can feel that you're taking it. I tried to be like the popular boys that the girls spoke to and laughed at it, and I failed. I tried to make a woman attracted to me or several women and I failed.

I don't put in much effort academically since I'm probably severely depressed and I'm pushing down all these feelings somewhere else, but god knows where they go. Sometimes I used to cry, from deep down to my core I'd pour my heart out and no one was there for me. It's excruciatingly lonely.

I tried to fit in as I said, I created an Instagram account and tried posting some of my music. Sometimes I'd get in the fyp and get like 30 likes from randoms and be happy about it but anything else I posted after that literally got 0 attention except some people from college giving me pity likes probably. It's excruciatingly painful to realise no one cares.

I had made this friend okay, who was a girl, I met her through Reddit (I know pathetic), but she was from my own country and she seemed so nice. Spent a year talking to her until she eventually ghosted me after I had developed feelings for her.
I tried finding someone else through discord and she did the same pretty much. She would tell me about her boyfriend and stuff and it would sting hard. She would ignore my walls of text and reply 5 days later with "ok" or completely move the conversation towards something else.
I also had male friends. We never spoke again. They're all gone now. I met them on Roblox. Now I'm lucky if I get 1 text in a whole 6 month's duration.

Maybe cuz I'm boring, maybe cuz I'm apologetic, maybe cuz I'm just not it. I don't know what it is about me that I can't put my finger on, but I just can't fit in.
So naturally I looked into substances to drown out my depression like tobacco (I'm still addicted) and alcohol (semi addicted). But I realise I can't do that when my mama relies on me for her future since she's a divorcee and I'm her only child.

I feel a lot of pressure on me. People make fun of me since I'm almost 20 and never had a job before. They tell me I'm going nowhere. And maybe I am going nowhere.

I had dreams of being like the next Kurt Cobain or the next troubled artist, perhaps, that could help. But Instagram killed it. Tiktok killed it. Nobody gave a shit on SoundCloud, nobody gave a shit on YouTube. It's extremely hard to do that.

I no longer enjoy video games anymore. I'm heavily addicted to porn and I've tried multiple times to quit and I've failed. I finally gave up. I cried but no one heard me.

This isn't a copy-pasta btw just a lot of things on my mind cuz I have no one to talk to. None of these girls even text me once saying how are you doing but I see them all the time talking to other boys and it's excruciatingly painful to go through that.

I walk around like a rotten corpse with no emotion on my face, I'm drown out, I'm tired, I force myself to wake up every single day so I don't disappoint my mother. Since I love her too much.

I've attempted suicide I've cut myself. I've overdosed on alcohol and almost died. I've tried hanging myself. Maybe I'm a pussy I don't know. I just never fit in. Never had a true connection with anyone. Not even my family or mother to be honest for some reasons I'll talk about maybe on a different post but it'd be too long if i typed it here.

Yeah I don't know idefk if anyone will read this I'm just another guy I'm worthless as a male comes in this world and I'm replaceable and I'm useless
 
IGiveUp

IGiveUp

Love Blah Blah
Sep 11, 2021
10,294
IMG 3016
 
Jenny Wakeman

Jenny Wakeman

Banned
Aug 20, 2023
218
You definitely need anti depressants. you can then chillout and think positively
 
Samisnotsocool223

Samisnotsocool223

You don't know who could be lurking here.
Jul 21, 2023
1,087
Okay I'll try to not make this long it'll be a bit personal

I literally have 0 friends, I never fit in at school, when kids would play something like football or basketball or anything together I'd always be on the side, not interacting with anyone. I was quiet all the time, teachers praised me for it because it is what they want anyway but everybody avoided me. I spoke to no one, I came home and immediately open up my laptop hop on Minecraft or Roblox or watch YouTube or on discord, that's all I've ever had. I'd like to cope and say I've had a girlfriend but it was on Roblox so you can imagine how stupid that even sounds.

And throughout the summer break, I literally never went outside. I would spend my entire day and night (sleep deprived) playing video games or go on discord for communication on random servers and I'd get muted because of how much of a social outcast I am and how little I know about socialising, so I would literally yell slurs and stuff to get attention because I never got any attention.

Then I got into college eventually and I tried to change. I tried to jestermaxx. But eventually I dropped the act because it never worked, people can sense through it, they can feel that you're taking it. I tried to be like the popular boys that the girls spoke to and laughed at it, and I failed. I tried to make a woman attracted to me or several women and I failed.

I don't put in much effort academically since I'm probably severely depressed and I'm pushing down all these feelings somewhere else, but god knows where they go. Sometimes I used to cry, from deep down to my core I'd pour my heart out and no one was there for me. It's excruciatingly lonely.

I tried to fit in as I said, I created an Instagram account and tried posting some of my music. Sometimes I'd get in the fyp and get like 30 likes from randoms and be happy about it but anything else I posted after that literally got 0 attention except some people from college giving me pity likes probably. It's excruciatingly painful to realise no one cares.

I had made this friend okay, who was a girl, I met her through Reddit (I know pathetic), but she was from my own country and she seemed so nice. Spent a year talking to her until she eventually ghosted me after I had developed feelings for her.
I tried finding someone else through discord and she did the same pretty much. She would tell me about her boyfriend and stuff and it would sting hard. She would ignore my walls of text and reply 5 days later with "ok" or completely move the conversation towards something else.
I also had male friends. We never spoke again. They're all gone now. I met them on Roblox. Now I'm lucky if I get 1 text in a whole 6 month's duration.

Maybe cuz I'm boring, maybe cuz I'm apologetic, maybe cuz I'm just not it. I don't know what it is about me that I can't put my finger on, but I just can't fit in.
So naturally I looked into substances to drown out my depression like tobacco (I'm still addicted) and alcohol (semi addicted). But I realise I can't do that when my mama relies on me for her future since she's a divorcee and I'm her only child.

I feel a lot of pressure on me. People make fun of me since I'm almost 20 and never had a job before. They tell me I'm going nowhere. And maybe I am going nowhere.

I had dreams of being like the next Kurt Cobain or the next troubled artist, perhaps, that could help. But Instagram killed it. Tiktok killed it. Nobody gave a shit on SoundCloud, nobody gave a shit on YouTube. It's extremely hard to do that.

I no longer enjoy video games anymore. I'm heavily addicted to porn and I've tried multiple times to quit and I've failed. I finally gave up. I cried but no one heard me.

This isn't a copy-pasta btw just a lot of things on my mind cuz I have no one to talk to. None of these girls even text me once saying how are you doing but I see them all the time talking to other boys and it's excruciatingly painful to go through that.

I walk around like a rotten corpse with no emotion on my face, I'm drown out, I'm tired, I force myself to wake up every single day so I don't disappoint my mother. Since I love her too much.

I've attempted suicide I've cut myself. I've overdosed on alcohol and almost died. I've tried hanging myself. Maybe I'm a pussy I don't know. I just never fit in. Never had a true connection with anyone. Not even my family or mother to be honest for some reasons I'll talk about maybe on a different post but it'd be too long if i typed it here.

Yeah I don't know idefk if anyone will read this I'm just another guy I'm worthless as a male comes in this world and I'm replaceable and I'm useless
You almost perfectly described my life. No job until I turned 20; barely ever had friends, when I did they didn't really talk to me; (formerly) addicted to alcohol/porn; have tried to make friends online but even they don't like me; lost interest in video games; tried jestermaxxing and failed miserably; going to college and struggling with motivation; bloodline depends on me; no girls want me; spend my entire summers indoors. Your life sounds like a mirror image of mine, it's tough out here. Finding it hard to not blow my brains out everyday at this point, I'm just existing, not living, and I'm just wasting my youth. And it only goes downhill from here.

My only hope is to get jaw implants + buccal fat removal using my wagie bucks to maybe enhance my looks, if I don't get botched then maybe I will have a chance at life, and people will want to talk to me and be my friend because of the halo effect. But if this doesn't work I might just kill myself. I'm tired of this kind of life
 
Last edited:
Pikabro

Pikabro

NEET
Jan 10, 2024
1,079
Same thing here brocel I have like no life whatsoever. I've been rotting n daydreaming all semester. Exam tomorrow and I haven't even looked at the course slides
 
S

Saran1999

NEET
Jan 7, 2024
80
Okay I'll try to not make this long it'll be a bit personal

I literally have 0 friends, I never fit in at school, when kids would play something like football or basketball or anything together I'd always be on the side, not interacting with anyone. I was quiet all the time, teachers praised me for it because it is what they want anyway but everybody avoided me. I spoke to no one, I came home and immediately open up my laptop hop on Minecraft or Roblox or watch YouTube or on discord, that's all I've ever had. I'd like to cope and say I've had a girlfriend but it was on Roblox so you can imagine how stupid that even sounds.

And throughout the summer break, I literally never went outside. I would spend my entire day and night (sleep deprived) playing video games or go on discord for communication on random servers and I'd get muted because of how much of a social outcast I am and how little I know about socialising, so I would literally yell slurs and stuff to get attention because I never got any attention.

Then I got into college eventually and I tried to change. I tried to jestermaxx. But eventually I dropped the act because it never worked, people can sense through it, they can feel that you're taking it. I tried to be like the popular boys that the girls spoke to and laughed at it, and I failed. I tried to make a woman attracted to me or several women and I failed.

I don't put in much effort academically since I'm probably severely depressed and I'm pushing down all these feelings somewhere else, but god knows where they go. Sometimes I used to cry, from deep down to my core I'd pour my heart out and no one was there for me. It's excruciatingly lonely.

I tried to fit in as I said, I created an Instagram account and tried posting some of my music. Sometimes I'd get in the fyp and get like 30 likes from randoms and be happy about it but anything else I posted after that literally got 0 attention except some people from college giving me pity likes probably. It's excruciatingly painful to realise no one cares.

I had made this friend okay, who was a girl, I met her through Reddit (I know pathetic), but she was from my own country and she seemed so nice. Spent a year talking to her until she eventually ghosted me after I had developed feelings for her.
I tried finding someone else through discord and she did the same pretty much. She would tell me about her boyfriend and stuff and it would sting hard. She would ignore my walls of text and reply 5 days later with "ok" or completely move the conversation towards something else.
I also had male friends. We never spoke again. They're all gone now. I met them on Roblox. Now I'm lucky if I get 1 text in a whole 6 month's duration.

Maybe cuz I'm boring, maybe cuz I'm apologetic, maybe cuz I'm just not it. I don't know what it is about me that I can't put my finger on, but I just can't fit in.
So naturally I looked into substances to drown out my depression like tobacco (I'm still addicted) and alcohol (semi addicted). But I realise I can't do that when my mama relies on me for her future since she's a divorcee and I'm her only child.

I feel a lot of pressure on me. People make fun of me since I'm almost 20 and never had a job before. They tell me I'm going nowhere. And maybe I am going nowhere.

I had dreams of being like the next Kurt Cobain or the next troubled artist, perhaps, that could help. But Instagram killed it. Tiktok killed it. Nobody gave a shit on SoundCloud, nobody gave a shit on YouTube. It's extremely hard to do that.

I no longer enjoy video games anymore. I'm heavily addicted to porn and I've tried multiple times to quit and I've failed. I finally gave up. I cried but no one heard me.

This isn't a copy-pasta btw just a lot of things on my mind cuz I have no one to talk to. None of these girls even text me once saying how are you doing but I see them all the time talking to other boys and it's excruciatingly painful to go through that.

I walk around like a rotten corpse with no emotion on my face, I'm drown out, I'm tired, I force myself to wake up every single day so I don't disappoint my mother. Since I love her too much.

I've attempted suicide I've cut myself. I've overdosed on alcohol and almost died. I've tried hanging myself. Maybe I'm a pussy I don't know. I just never fit in. Never had a true connection with anyone. Not even my family or mother to be honest for some reasons I'll talk about maybe on a different post but it'd be too long if i typed it here.

Yeah I don't know idefk if anyone will read this I'm just another guy I'm worthless as a male comes in this world and I'm replaceable and I'm useless
Your problem is you didn't murder enough nigs
Should've spent your time grinding on things that really matter, like not giving a fuck and raping nigs
 
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