"Why do you care about making friends"



Oct 21, 2022
I've tried to escape social isolation for over a decade. I spent almost no time trying to figure out career goals, since I couldn't see a future for myself anyway; and I spent all my free time trying to talk to people or find people to talk to, to escape loneliness, rather than on trying to find hobbies or develop interests.

So I'm really curious about the people who are huge advocates of focusing on yourself and not bothering with people. They usually admit to feeling lonely and not being happy alone. But they still advise taking steps to further isolate yourself, and they show zero understanding and compassion for a kind of pain they literally suffer from, themselves.

And I get it; they're right. Pursuing people to the extent that I have has only made my life wasted and empty. I was nothing, and I stayed that way, rather than fixing it. I guess it's just the lack of empathy that really burns.

Actually, I should clarify. What I'm getting at is the same principle behind "you shouldn't think about wanting a SO before you fix your personal problems."

While there is truth behind this, the fact that odds are, having more friends or even a SO might not even 'cure' your loneliness... it doesn't address people who have really dire social situations. Having no friends for decades. Being cheated on by your only long term relationship, or never having a relationship well into adulthood. People who say this crap either found a way to turn off the hurt, or they don't even feel it that badly themselves because other people gravitate towards them.

Sure, your issues are still going to be there. But god damn, having at least one person around probably would go a long way in decreasing how much it hurts.
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