Shouldn't have taken antidepressants, this was the first time in years that I've cried.

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anon1822thirdaccoun

anon1822thirdaccoun

NEET
Nov 12, 2022
137
I was numb. I didn't feel anything. I had forgotten so many things that I had repressed. My mindset as a depressed person had become comfy. A comfy shell that couldn't be penetrated by anything, not even emotions or regrets.

But now it's all coming back to me. And I now realize just how deep the grave that I've dug for myself is.

Why do I care? Why do I care that nobody will know me? That nobody will know of my life? What's the difference? People end up alone in their old age anyway, and I never felt lonely either. And then they die and eventually nobody remembers them. And yet for some reason I cried, because no one will know me, I'll be all alone in this world.

I never cared. I lived my life and I actively ignored any social interactions. Any chance at a social life I actively avoided. I didn't care one bit. I ended up not interacting with anyone, ever. And I didn't care.

But now I cry. Why? After all, I didn't care. Why do I care now?
 
anon1822thirdaccoun

anon1822thirdaccoun

NEET
Nov 12, 2022
137
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