Holy shit, when years of denial and ignoring a problem hit you in the face, it's quite something.

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anon1822thirdaccoun

anon1822thirdaccoun

NEET
Nov 12, 2022
137
I forgot. I simply forgot the consequences of what I was doing. I was so deep in denial that I didn't even realize it after a certain point.

I'm talking about loneliness. I don't feel it. I'm immune to it. Been so for many years.

But then I remembered something. NOBODY KNOWS ME. When my 71 year old dad dies, that's it. It'll be as if I was a ghost my whole life. Literally nobody will know me. NOBODY.

Sure, there might be people who remember my name, or who were acquainted with me in the past. But literally nobody will know what I've been through. My ups and downs, the story of my life.

I DON"T EVEN REMEMBER MOST OF MY LIFE MYSELF. OMG IT"S ALL LOST. Normal people have other people that remind them of their life. Like "ohh yeah, I was with you there and I did that". I HAVE NOTHING. It's all lost, my life vanished into thin air.

Once my dad dies, it's all gone. I'll be all alone, with nobody to even remind me of the past events of my life. Because nobody knows anything about my life, I'm a stranger to everybody.

I guess we all die and it doesn't matter in the end. But for some reason, that doesn't console me at the moment.
 

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